I normally love the holiday season. It makes me happy to decorate my house, and send out Christmas cards, and sing along with holiday music. Not this year. And I think it's because we sort of had Christmas ripped out from under us. It was already going to be a tight year, but we've had tight years every year we've been together, and we always manage to come up with a little money to get each other something. Then we had to get a new car. And while I'm very, VERY grateful that we were able to do that, it forced a reworking of our budget that will not allow for any Christmas gifts this year. As it is, I'm holding my breath to see if my Christmas bonus will be enough to cover J's spring classes. If it's not, I'll have to tighten the budget even further. Sigh...it's just frustrating. I'm too old to be this broke!
I know I have a lot of good in my life. And, for the most part, I couldn't care less about material things. The part I enjoy about the holidays is finding and giving the perfect gift, and I won't be able to do that this year. That's what makes me feel Grinchy. And then I feel guilty for being so selfish, which makes me even more Grinchy. Rinse and repeat.
Maybe I'll get lucky and something will happen between now and Christmas that will snap me out of this funk.