Friday, July 15, 2011

Is *THIS* My Maternal Instinct???

(WARNING: sailor language ahead)

When you’re a redhead, having a temper comes with the territory. I’m a lot more mellow than I used to be, and it takes a lot to make me angry. If I get to that point, though, you’re going to want to get out of the way.

I find that as I get older, things people do to me don’t really upset me that much. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t care less what people think of me. Or maybe I’ve realized that *I’m* happier when I let things roll off my back. Or maybe it’s the low self-esteem I’ve dealt with my whole life; I think I deserve to be treated badly sometimes. It's really a bit of all three, with the first two making up the vast majority.

On the other hand, you do not want to fuck with someone I love. Seriously. I am five feet tall and have never committed any kind of violence in my life. (Throwing inanimate objects doesn’t count, right?) But I’m sneaky. And I’m smart. And I will fuck up your world. Try me.

Here’s what’s got me riled today: one of my oldest friends (we’ll call her H) recently had a foster child placed in her home. H., her husband, and two sons have been anxiously preparing and planning for the day they would have a little girl in the house. The child (let’s call her FC) was placed with them in June, and a legal adoption was planned as soon as the six-month waiting period was over. FC is five years old, and has been through the wringer in her short life. She has bonded with H.’s family, and they have bonded with her. Now, FC’s biological relatives have filed legal action in California to have her returned to that state and placed into their CPS system, so that they can eventually regain custody of FC. She could be removed from H.’s home anytime, and unless something changes, will be removed within 20 days.

It’s ridiculous. H. and her husband are the most stable family I know. They're almost like Stepford people. They have been married for nine years, and have lived in the same house for ten years. Her husband has had the same job for 15 years. Who does that these days? Removing FC from H.’s family and sending her back to California could not possibly be in her best interest. And I am angry about it.

H. requested letters of support from her friends and family, as they are hoping to have the legal action dismissed. I wrote a letter as soon as I received her email and, so far, I’ve sent it to about five different people. I told her to give me more names if she has them. She said she knew I was busy and didn’t want to take up too much of my time. I said, “You were my first best friend. No one is going to fuck with your family on my watch.”

And that’s when it dawned on me. I am absolutely CFBC, but I still have a maternal instinct. The cuddly, loving side of it is expressed with my pets. And the fierce, Mama Bear side of it is expressed when someone I love is hurt. I like this part of me; it’s sort of like having a super power. I don’t look very tough, but people only underestimate me once. Trust me on that.

So here's my advice for today: be nice to my friends, or you’ll get to meet Mama Bear. And no one wants that.

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